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aa is like the disease...cunning baffling powerful...it mirrors the diseased process like strands of DNA. so it knows how to kill it. AA predicts the disease's moves. And if you play (or work) it right, you win

oh this could be the title of a commercial book...i was just reading, if we are smart enough to manipulate them, why not manipulate them.

there's the rub. I'm smart enough to manipulate but don't know how, not having been trained young.

same view of life: see father marry mother, she so smart he not so and not ambitious but cautious and permanent. the rug pulled out from under him: wife dies, leaves 2 kids, a good boy and that girl, I don't know about that girl.

Honey, I promise you, there will be life at the end of the tunnel.
I dreamed he and another man (Mundy?) decided to give me a nosejob (I was 13--just popped into my head.

HE CAN'T BE A GOOD THERAPIST he keeps telling me I'm sane.

MaryAnn and her rotation of crazy roomates THERE's THE BOOK Of course I will have to leave KW as all my friends will hate me upon publication. I will not mean to allienate and maybe even libel everyone I know but I will put foot in mouth as always oh snap

yeah, that's how these books end. now I know why. with publication and, if warrented, salvation.

The perfumer spilled the essence of his art and they ate it up

When I think of Canabalism, literary, I think of Tenn.

When I think of canabalism, IRL I think of seige of [well that sent me off for a good quarter of an hour. and I still don't know if the seige was of stalingrad or petrograd like it mofo matters.

please help me rotate my clock. My rubiks cube. align me so I'm square and firm. Solid.

Maybe Freud was right. Maybe I'm afraid of death. My deep seeded fear. then the fears they lighten as they go up the staircase of my psyche...they have to or I couldn't live. Nothing out there changed. It was my anticipation of a fearsome event that created the event. Whether the event materialized into a real problem or not is immaterial. The stress expressed worrying? Your body can't tell cyber from IRL.

where's that persona, the one that wanted to clean the house...oh y'all tied her up with mop string and tried to drown her in her own bukket/ You be drowning in you own who-knows-what soon enough...

what indeed are you waiting for?
A gentle man to hold the door
a sweet girl to dance with
if you say Godot you're going into a vat of Malmsey
Why they get to drink so much back then?

Tempur--see how commercialism changes our spelling...catch phrase
That's revolting that's not creativeThat was practice to see how the microphone thing works I wish you could see it as it was going and not just when you're done.

McCann do has Canto

lol 

Relapse Like a Bawse

Not a good idea. Glamorizing it and all. Still, there is a place for humor and that place is here and now.

Addicted to laughing. To a positive attitude.

Am I addicted to reading? This is why I don't feel like a writer. I am making up stories as a defense against reality. I do it as I go along. It's not real writing.

But it's my LAST ESCAPE. Into the recesses of my mind.

Where am I getting the sense of myself as sick, helpless...it's self-pity, yes, but (everything after the but is bullshit) It's no different from what at least a proportion of sober peeps have gone through. I hate when they say "everyone feels..." cuz so many times I've not felt what everyone feels so I guess I'm not one of you.

Were humans meant to hyper develop intellect?

Another white chip. This is what I mean. Once I get honest it's just white chip white chip white chip...

oh, maybe that's why.

If I Had More Time, I'd have More Compassion

the classic study

time in both senses of the word

re: Tom

Self-Help ish

Cause it's always a we program
wee little tiny
whee! fun laugh endolphins
connections only connect
6 Degrees of Connection
rhymes with separation
One human family with 6 degrees of separation